You're Breathing Wrong - The Catalyst For Negative Emotions

July 2022

Whoops, a tad late... 

Being on vacation is my excuse :) - not valid I know shush 

This month's newsletter is based on podcasts I've listened to, articles I've read and things I've experienced in the month of July.

The topics are:

  • You're The Average Of The Five People You Spend The Most Time With 

  • You're Breathing Wrong - The Catalyst For Negative Emotions

  • If Old Memories Still Make You Cry, Write Them Down Carefully And Completely

You're The Average Of The Five People You Spend The Most Time With

- Jim Rohn

This is a quote that everyone has heard of at some point.

You might agree that it's overused but it's scarily accurate. 

I went to Finland for vacation this month with two good friends of mine.

The two of them have quite different habits and don't interact with each other that often.

Person 1 likes to play chess, wakes up early, goes to the gym consistently, journals, meditates etc

Person 2 not so much, he never really wants to play chess, wakes up way later, goes to the gym somewhat often not consistently, doesn't journal, doesn't meditate etc

Yet, when I played chess with Person 1 every day.

He started watching us play and after a while wanted to join us. 

He played chess almost every day on vacation. 

Person 1 reads a shit ton every day.

Person 2 rarely ever reads.

On vacation Person 2 read quite a lot.

Got halfway through a book.

And after the vacation quite literally stopped instantly with playing chess and reading.

Silly example but it proves the quote.

You should surround yourself with people who have the same aspirations as you. 

If you want to succeed in any field, you need to be competitive.

So surrounding yourself with people who are competitive and have similar goals is even better. 

Hypothetically, if I want to become a chess grandmaster but I hang around Person 2 every day.

I won't be studying chess nearly as much as if I would hang around Person 1 every day.

Even better would be to surround myself with someone who wants to become a grandmaster too. 

Then, every time they succeed, I must succeed, since we're competitive, so I start outworking them.

The other person experiences the same and voila you're succeeding on your road to becoming a chess grandmaster.

You're Breathing Wrong - The Catalyst For Negative Emotions

Weird one, I know. 

I had that exact thought when reading "The way of the superior man" by David Deida. 

He argues most people breathe shallowly.

When you get nervous, your stomach tightens. When you are saddened, a lump forms in your throat. When you are threatened, your solar plexus feels queasy. When you think hard, your forehead wrinkles. When you consider the unsure future, you tense your jaw. For much of the day, you are tightening, tensing, and contracting the front of your body, from the top of your head, through your chest, and all the way down past your gut.

- David Deida

David argues you should breathe fully and from the front.

When inhaling you should feel your belly and chest expanding and feel the air pushing your pelvic floor down.

That's how deep you should breathe.

When exhaling you should feel it leave through the spine. And everything should feel relaxed. 

Your breath should untie all the knots that you feel in the front of your body.

Breathe like a king.

A king who owns the room and fills it up with his presence alone.

Not like a servant.

A servant who tightens his front in order to not be in competition with the king.

He also argues that breath controls the energy you bring out to the world.

So if you breathe shallowly, you'll start to feel negative emotions.

Since I've started breathing correctly I never really have experienced the feelings described in the quote anymore aka negative emotions.

Next time when you're sad, stressed out, thinking super hard, threatened, ...

Breathe like a king.

If Old Memories Still Make You Cry, Write Them Down Carefully And Completely

That's a rule from a book written by Jordan Peterson.

Journaling is so important.

But you have to be precise in your language and thoughts. 

Articulate it well.

Big decision to make?

Journal your thoughts precisely.

Something bothering you?

Journal your thoughts precisely.

Something consistently on your mind?

Journal your thoughts precisely.

Dealing with grief or a breakup?

Journal your thoughts precisely.

Fun fact grief and a breakup invoke the same neurochemistry in the brain. 

In normal words, the pain is the same.

This means the solution is the same too.

Jocko Willink recommends writing a letter to the dead person to process the waves that will continuingly hit you.

The same could be done for a breakup since the pain is the same. 

This aligns with Jordan's rule.

Check out my medium below, I will be posting an article soon! - Perhaps a more in-depth version of the breathing section :)